dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
