I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
be right there i have to get my cape
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
