I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
