Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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