The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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