omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Girls should come with a carfax report
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
