He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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