He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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