Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
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My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize