She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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