You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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