im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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