You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
