drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
