Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
