Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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