I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
