Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
