Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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