It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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