Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
