Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize