I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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