yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
