I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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