Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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