I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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