Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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