think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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