one might say we're banned from that church
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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