did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
