i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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