Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
