...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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