piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
