I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
