...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
