I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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