Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
