No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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