I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize