he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
