ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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