Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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