so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
