Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
