The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
