96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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