It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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