i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I AM VODKA MAN
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
