Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
