He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
