you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
