I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
