i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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