i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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