After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
