remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
