I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
