If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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