apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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